Covert Narcissist: Signs, Causes, and How to Respond

It is not a coincidence that narcissists, in general, tend to gravitate toward interacting with caring and compassionate people. The covert narcissist recognizes those opportunities for manipulation as well. The overt narcissist will demand admiration and attention, where the covert narcissist will use softer tactics to meet those same goals. The covert narcissist will be much more likely to constantly seek reassurance about their talents, skills, and accomplishments, looking for others to feed that same need for self-importance. Covert narcissism is characterized by the same behaviors of overt narcissism that are displayed in less obvious, more subtle ways.

Overlapping causes and risk factors

Sian Ferguson is a freelance health and cannabis writer based in Cape Town, South Africa. She’s passionate about empowering readers to take care of their mental and physical health through science-based, empathetically delivered information. Each person needs a different treatment method depending on their unique situation, and as such, not everyone will have the same treatment program. People with NPD tend to have difficulty receiving criticism from others, and as such, they might find it difficult to commit to psychotherapy and lifestyle changes. Genetics also seem to play a role in the development of both conditions.

The Link Between Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Alcoholism

The exact causes for this are not known, but genetics and early relationships may play a role. When considering the behavior of narcissists, it might be hard to imagine how someone could be a narcissist and be inhibited in their approach and behavior. A covert narcissist may be outwardly self-effacing or withdrawn in their approach, but the end goals are the same. A 2018 meta-analysis looked at the results of 62 studies and found that grandiose narcissism has a moderate association with increased social network use.

One such change might be to avoid substances like alcohol if they tend to trigger harmful behavior. There are no medications to treat NPD, but if you also experience depression or another mental health condition, a doctor may prescribe medications to treat the other condition. To get started, contact a doctor or other healthcare professional, or reach out to a therapist. If you answered “yes” to most of the questions above, speaking with a therapist might be a good idea.

Overt behaviors are those that can be easily observed by others, such as those of the traditional narcissist described earlier. Covert behaviors, however, are those that are more subtle and a bit less obvious to others. The outlook is even better in people with mental illness who abuse alcohol and other substances. The treatment of NPD and AUD should ideally be delivered simultaneously, especially if there is severe addiction or depression.

An overt narcissist wears their need for admiration, validation, and sense of self-importance on their sleeve. The expression of these needs and vulnerability in a covert narcissist is more hidden and internal. If someone has AUD as well as a personality disorder, it’s recommended that both are treated at the same time to improve their chances of recovery. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 22.6% of people with a personality disorder also have a substance use disorder (SUD), which can include alcohol use. Risk factors for NPD include having difficult relationships with parents or caregivers during a person’s developmental years that may include excessive praise or criticism.

Many people use the terms “alcohol use disorder” and what drugs was eminem addicted to “alcohol misuse” interchangeably, but they refer to two different things. In fact, some research suggests that alcohol misuse might be more common among people who have narcissistic tendencies. The study commented that people who show grandiose traits may have feelings of importance in an environment of drinking where this quality may thrive.

What causes each condition — can one cause the other?

By educating yourself, you can also educate them about what AUD and NPD are about. You can take them with you to your next appointment to talk with your healthcare provider. Because a person with NPD will often approach therapy with ambivalence or negative gallstones and alcohol feelings, they are more likely to give up prematurely. They also tend to have a low tolerance for stress and will often give up and walk away than deal with it. Treating each condition independently can sometimes lead people to “choose one over the other,” especially if care is not coordinated.

1. People with AUD, also known as alcoholism, can display patterns of narcissism, including self-absorption and an underlying craving for admiration.
2. People with narcissism and those with an addiction share similar character traits.
3. You can meet some of them by joining a support group online or in your town.
4. When dealing with a narcissist, whether covert or overt, their manipulative behavior can feel very personal.
5. By doing so, a person is less likely to be “over-treated” for a condition they may not actually have.

The covert narcissist certainly craves importance, or narcissistic supply, and thirsts for admiration but it can look different to those around them. They might give back-handed compliments, or purposefully minimize their accomplishments or talents so that people will offer them reassurance of how talented they are. Where the more overt, extroverted narcissist will be obvious in their elevated sense of self and their arrogance when interacting with others, the covert narcissist may be less obvious. Researcher and author Craig Malkin, PhD, suggests that the term “covert” can be misleading. In fact, he reports, the traits of the overt narcissist and the covert narcissist are the same.

People with narcissistic personality disorders may wish to control their sexual partner’s behavior for their own satisfaction, and they may have an inflated sense of sexual entitlement. A 2020 review of research on narcissism and substance use disorders concludes that low self-esteem that requires external validation from others can increase the risk of substance use disorders. Although covert narcissists avoid the spotlight and prefer passive-aggressive means of controlling others, this is not necessarily because they are introverted as is often stated. Rather, they lack the brash confidence of overt narcissists and fear being exposed and humiliated if they draw public attention to themselves.

Overlapping signs and symptoms

Diagnosis of overt NPD is based on evidence of the behaviors and traits of the condition as outlined in the DSM-5. Treating NPD can be challenging and may require long-term therapy, but working alongside healthcare professionals can help people reduce symptoms. With treatment, those with NPD can live healthy lives with positive relationships. According to a 2018 article, due to the common co-occurrence of rhinophyma and alcoholism personality disorders and AUD, it is important that substance misuse services screen for personality disorders and vice versa.

Both overt and covert narcissists navigate the world with a sense of self-importance and fantasize about success and grandeur. It is not uncommon for two mental health conditions to co-exist (referred to as a comorbidity). Covert narcissist traits may be more common among some personality types. An individual’s innate temperament also may be a factor in their susceptibility to developing narcissism, reflected in their response to triggers like anger or envy over another person’s achievements.

When interacting with a covert narcissist, it can be easy to lose your voice. Because the patterns of interaction are so manipulative, it may take time for you to realize that you’re not advocating for yourself. When dealing with a narcissist, whether covert or overt, their manipulative behavior can feel very personal. The lack of regard, sense of entitlement, patterns of manipulation, and deceptive behaviors can feel very personal when on the receiving end.